• Todd Puhl

Movie Review: The Dark Tower

Updated: May 28, 2019


‘The last Gunslinger, Roland Deschain, has been locked in an eternal battle with Walter O'Dim, also known as the Man in Black, determined to prevent him from toppling the Dark Tower, which holds the universe together. With the fate of the worlds at stake, good and evil will collide in the ultimate battle as only Roland can defend the Tower from the Man in Black.

IMDb rating 6.0/10 Metacritic 35% Rotten Tomatoes 18%


So Todd and I were running around on Thursday and we started talking about movies and we came to the he decision that we were gonna check out The Dark Tower on opening night. That night the review embargo was released and boy did a lot of people take a dump on the movie I honestly don't think I saw one good review. Now it's been over a decade since I've read one of the The Dark Tower novels and I may very well go back and read them again after the movie because I didn’t actually finish the series.

We got to the theatre quite early and had an opportunity to change our minds and shift our viewing to Atomic Blonde but were warned by a couple of women in line for tickets that we would have walked out had we seen that and they recommend Girl Trip (Hmmm.. That wasn’t happening) and after we learned that they enjoyed the garbage reboot of Ghostbusters we couldn’t take them seriously and we stuck to our guns with Dark Tower.


First impression after it was over was that it didn’t blow my pants off. I didn’t want to walk out of the theatre either. But I am kinda glad it was a shorter run time of just over 90 min. Todd even mentioned that it felt like almost 2 hours. But it didn’t feel anything like the long drawn out feeling like with Spider-Man: Homecoming. I don’t even recall looking at the time during the movie which I usually do at least a couple of time for when movies aren’t keeping me enthralled.


I thought the casting was pretty solid with McConaughey and Elba but I thought Tom Taylor (Jake) felt a little on the noobish side and after looking at his casting credits I wasn’t far off. In my eyes, Elba managed to pull off the brooding, badass, broken hero pretty well and McConaughey in an atypical villain role was a pleasant surprise. Taylor as the pivotal character in the film just seemed weak in the action chops in comparison.

Dark Tower did lead the box offices this weekend and pulled in approximately $27.5 million worldwide in one of the worst weekend box office draws since late April. We hit the late show on Friday and it looked like it was going to be pretty dead until a bunch walked in the last minute and I lost the over/under bet in the theatre roughly 50 or so in the theatre but then again we also had a big local festival with bands going on as well.

One of our friends had watched it on the earlier show and we got a little bit of insight into the film and what to expect. They warned that the CGI was ‘iffy’ at times and I would have to agree. There was no way I was missing the issues with the CGI in this film not looking as crisp as it could have been in places it just wasn’t consistent throughout the film. At times it looked great and others it looked out of place.


I am pretty sure they will be attempting to make at least one more movie in the Dark Tower franchise if not maybe a trilogy. It covered about half of its budget in the opening weekend alone. Storyline-wise they left it completely wide open for a second film as well. I would be open to seeing a sequel to see where the story actually goes but I would much rather have the novels recently read before going that far.

Would I buy the movie? Not likely at all. Would I watch it again? More than likely after re-reading the novels to make a more in-depth comparison. I don’t think it was anywhere as bad as the critics made it out to be prior to me seeing the film. I didn’t think it would be to be honest. When everyone is making a film out to be so poor or so great I tend to find the opposite or somewhere in the middle with much more of a meh rating. Everyone gave Spider-Man Homecoming overwhelming ratings and I thought the it was more of a meh, Dark Tower falls into that same scenario. Critics just dumping all over the movie and I still thought it was palatable just nothing to write home about.

3 Beards out of 5


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