Movie Review: Underworld: Bloodlines
Updated: May 28, 2019
Another stupid Underworld film. I honestly happy that I talked myself out of watching this film when it was in theatres. I went and seen Fist Fight instead which was clearly the better choice. Yeah, this isn’t going to be a good review. Sorry.
“Death dealer Selene (Kate Beckinsale) must fend off brutal attacks from both the Lycan clan and the vampire faction that betrayed her. Joining forces with allies David (Theo James) and Thomas (Peter Anderson), she embarks on a quest to end the eternal war between the two races, even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice.”
Clearly I missed an Underworld film somewhere because I do not remember that Selene birthed a kid. This WhiteWolf RPG story stealing movie, continues a saga that I would have honestly thought should have faded away after the second film. Now, the film was so boring, I passed out 3 times while attempting to watch this film. So, there won’t be much spoilers of the actually film, I will be critiquing what I saw or recall between naps.
Of course it is always nice to see Kate Beckinsale in a skin tight suit killing Vampires, Werewolves, midgets or whatever else tickles her fancy. But the film introduces another type of vampire race that has found ways to increase their powers and become nightcrawler esk transportation? What I don’t understand about Selene is that she is constantly tricked/screwed over by her own kind but yet she always trust them? It would be nice if they didn’t make it so obvious that the film was a quick cash grab.
The series reminds me of the Resident Evil series that just came to a close a few months ago. There hasn’t been a good film since the second one, and they keep making it in the hopes to make the same money as the first 2. Honestly, Day breakers was a great vampire film with different elements and made a good amount of cash. They didn’t bother making a sequel because they accepted it. These directors/producers love milking a movie for every drop to get every possible penny out of it. Who suffers? The Fans. Look at the Transformers franchise. Hasn’t been a good one since the first, but yet Michael Bay keeps putting them out. And we keep falling for it.
Sporting a 5.9 on IMDB, I came across this review that really summed up the film for me.
“"I have seen so much killing, so much war. I cannot bear more." So says the heroine Selene near the end of Underworld: Blood Wars. And you know what? I feel exactly the same way about this franchise.” – Adam Holz
Save your money, time and intelligence and dodge this film like the plague. Or take a nap like I did.