Movie Review: Zoolander 2
Updated: May 27, 2019
'Former models Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel find themselves thrust back into the spotlight after living in seclusion for years. Invited to a major fashion event in Rome, the estranged friends are surprised to see how much the business has changed. Even more shocking is their encounter with Valentina Valencia, a special agent who needs their help. Someone is killing famous pop stars, and it's up to Derek and Hansel to help save the world's most beautiful people from a similar fate.'
IMDb rating 5.3/10 Rotten Tomatoes 22%
It was the gloomiest day of the year, filled with candy hearts and tears, and I needed some laughter in my life. My brother decided we should celebrate Canadas newest holiday (Family Day) early, so he decided to scoop me out of my misery and invite myself, and our sister to see a movie with his wife and kids. OF COURSE, I wanted to see Deadpool, but I swore I’d save that for viewing with our other sister, so we went to see Zoolander 2.
It was not a bad decision.
Zoolander 2 was everything that Zoolander was, but with an epic does of 2016 pop culture. Ben stiller slays as Derek Zoolander, the ridiculously good looking male model. The movie shows flashbacks of what has happened in the past 15 years since our first meeting with Zoolander ended and he had built his community center, “The Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too”. There is a tragic accident where the center collapses and kills his wife and “horribly disfigures” his best friend and fellow male model Hansel. Derek becomes a single dad, who as you would expect, is not mentally adept enough to care for his son. He is deemed unfit and child services comes and takes Derek Jr away. Zoolander the announces his retirement and declares he will now live as a “hermit crab” retreating into his solitude in “North Northern New Jersey” (pictured as if it was located in the artic circle).
Fast forwarding to 2016, a bearded recluse Zoolander gets a visitor who brings him his mail – Billy Zane. Along with his Netflix disk subscription, (wow, he really is a hermit if he doesn’t have wifi) there is a package inviting him to walk for the hottest designer in fashion’s new line in Rome. Zoolander is convinced by Zane that this is the way he can get his son back, so he decides to call an Uber to pick them up and bring him to the airport (clearly Uber can go even where wifi doesn’t).
Shortly after, we are taken to the desert, listed as the “unexplored dunes of California” where Hansel has also been living outside of civilization. He lives in a hut, with his 11 partners (including Kiefer Sutherland, a elf girl, and a goat) that he affectionately calls “Orgy” who are somehow, all pregnant. Billy Zane repeats his mail boy role and Hansel is invited to the same fashion show as Zoolander. He runs off, taking the opportunity as a way to escape and contemplate his impending fatherhood.
The movie progresses with Hansel and Zoolander meeting at the airport, rekindling their bromance, and working together to find Derek Jr and relaunch their modelling careers. With the help of Penelope Cruz, a Home land Security agent working in the fashion division, they realize it is no coincidence they are in Rome, and that Derek Jr is there as well.
The beautiful people in Hollywood are getting murdered, and the only clue they are leaving behind is a look reminiscent of Blue Steel posted as their final selfie. It is discovered through a secret meeting with Sting in a church confessional, that Hollywoods beautiful and talented are actually protectors of “the chosen one”. The blood of the descendant of the earth’s first supermodel, Steve (who lived amongst Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden) holds the key to the fountain of youth. The villains of the fashion community have found out the chosen one is Derek Jr, and he will be sacrificed to keep them young and beautiful forever.
Zoolander discovers the mastermind behind the plan is none other than Mugatu and sets out to rescue his son. There is a fabulously ridiculous fight scene, a big plot twist, and the rebirth of Magnum to look forward to, when love, working together, and “the fire” save the day and foil Mugatu and the fashion community’s evil plans.
Zoolander 2 will be a hit to anyone who liked the original. Classic jokes are brought back, the characters revamped and refreshed, and light hearted ridiculously hilarious one liners ensue. Tapping in to current trends of hipsters and giant cellphones, you get an early ‘00’s – present day mash up that is fun to watch.
I strongly suggest watching Zoolander first, to get an idea of what you’re walking into, and know that this movie doesn’t take its self too seriously, and to watch it, you shouldn’t either.